Healing

I woke up today with the mindset that Whole 30 is working, but that I am ready to be done. My chocolate cravings are through the roof, I think I eat WAY too much almond butter and sweet potatoes and I really don't feel like I "lost" this amazing amount of weight and inches.

I know, in the book It Starts With Food they say, "We don't care if you lose weight", because the point is to heal your body with food. This not a diet plan this is a lifestyle kickstart. This time last year I was student teaching and determined to "lose the last 10lbs" for the wedding. I was living with my in-laws and running. Boy was I running, I was training for a marathon, except I didn't have a marathon to run I just wanted to lose weight. I was on my third round of Weight Watchers but still at my highest weight ever. I quit WW due to not having any money. I decided to try new birth control, it must be the hormones right? My face broke out like a pubescent boy. I tried South Beach & calorie counting. I did not understand. I lost a few pounds but was not down to where I wanted to be.

My fiance was living in Washington D.C. so for spring break I went to see him. We enjoyed ourselves and explored the city. But I remember the moment when I weighed myself. I was 5 pounds above my "heaviest weight". I was so upset. I am the healthy one. I am the one who makes smart choices and sets good examples for others. I went back and tried anything I could. When June 16th came....I still weighed 160 and I could not get below it.

Here is where the story doesn't end. I am not married and have a job in a new town. I have a gym membership and I can control what I put in my body. So I began eating whole foods, 100% whole wheat (seriously nothing with chemicals), whole milk, veggies, fruit etc. Nothing....the scale would NOT MOVE. What I didn't realize then was that I was taking the steps needed to clean my body. I cut out processed food. I started buying organic and local.

The scale still got me. It was on like Donky Kong.

I began my full time job as a teacher. I said no to treats and snacks. I was the healthy one. The scale didn't move. I literally was stuck at 160 or above. I would have cut a limb off JUST TO SEE THE SCALE MOVE. Then I stumbled into paleo.

I read about the paleo philosophy, I read about the effects of wheat on your body. I read about how it TAKES TIME to heal. So, I began paleo. I am sure you are scrolling to see if this is when I proclaim my love for Paleo and all the great things it did for me.

Not just yet. Patience young padawan.

The scale did not move. But again I was learning and growing. I realized that I can not tolerate gluten. It really bothers my stomach. I would have a beer after cutting out gluten and my stomach would expand inches. So I took the next step and became gluten free.

The scale did not move. My body was healing.

Enter Christmas. Did I give up hope and indulge in all the holiday treats? NO.  Sure I might have had a few too many handfuls of peanut m&m's but I was so determined to fight this. Naturally, the scale did not move.

In the summer when I read It Starts With Food, I tried doing a Whole 30. 10 days in....cheat. Start again a month later...I was going to do it 100% this time. Cheat. So now it is 2013. This is my year!

My husband and best friend agreed to do it with me. 100% Whole 30. This was my year and damn it I would see results. As you know, I am on day 24. I have stayed the path, I have lost and gained some cohorts. And for 24 days I did not weigh myself or measure myself.

This morning I did because in my mind I was done.

The scale moved. It moved 3 pounds.

I might have been done. But that has changed now. Because, I know that my body is healing. Three pounds is not a lot. But for someone who couldn't move the scale for 365 days. 3 pounds is more than enough to motivate me to continue to heal.

My whole 30 journey is not done. But I am going to have drinks this weekend with friends. If you know Whole 30 you know that drinking means I failed. But again, I am not done. Because I am going to continue the Whole 30 as a lifestyle. This is a healing process, realizing that a healthy lifestyle is more than losing weight. That food can heal your body but your body can't heal until you are ready too.

I was not ready before. But I am now. Mentally and Physically.