Being the Sugar Cookie

I haven't posted about it on here for fear of my job and spreading negativity to more places in my life, but my work environment is less than ideal. The past year and a half I have been stripped down emotionally and have been questioning if I made the right career choice. 

In turn my relationships, health, fitness routine and mental health have been suffering.  I drown my stress in sarcasm and Pinot Noir.

Through the interwebs of facebook I stumbled upon this article.  The whole thing is spectacular but this portion hit me like a ton of bricks.

#3. If you want to change the world, measure a person by the size of their heart, not the size of their flippers.Several times a week, the instructors would line up the class and do a uniform inspection. It was exceptionally thorough.
Your hat had to be perfectly starched, your uniform immaculately pressed and your belt buckle shiny and void of any smudges.
But it seemed that no matter how much effort you put into starching your hat, or pressing your uniform or polishing your belt buckle—- it just wasn’t good enough.
The instructors would find “something” wrong.
For failing the uniform inspection, the student had to run, fully clothed into the surfzone and then, wet from head to toe, roll around on the beach until every part of your body was covered with sand.
The effect was known as a “sugar cookie.” You stayed in that uniform the rest of the day—cold, wet and sandy.
There were many a student who just couldn’t accept the fact that all their effort was in vain. That no matter how hard they tried to get the uniform right—it was unappreciated.
Those students didn’t make it through training.
Those students didn’t understand the purpose of the drill. You were never going to succeed. You were never going to have a perfect uniform.
Sometimes no matter how well you prepare or how well you perform you still end up as a sugar cookie.

"No matter how well you prepare or how well you perform you still end up as a sugar cookie."
You know what...he's right. There is not much I can do about my current situation (other than quit my job). I need to stop and think about the things that I have absolute control over and which opinions truly matter to me.

Things I have control over:
- finances
- food
- exercise
- lesson plans
- hobbies

Opinions I actually care about:
- John
- Family
- Friends
- 48 amazing students
- Their parents

No where in that list are my observations, my ppg, my slo or CCSS. (if you don't know what those acronyms mean....save yourself the trouble and just ignore them)

So my friends this was my turning point. The moment in which I said, " I am going to be a sugar cookie and I am going to make sure I am the best damn sugar cookie I can be."

Now it is time for me to get to work. No more blaming those things I can't control for my poor food choices, piss poor attitude and pity parties. I am taking control.

Finding a Balance

If you don't know me well you might not know that I am very type A. I like things in an order and I follow a schedule. When I don't have a schedule or things fall out of order I get tight chested and freak out. Not a full blown crazy lady freak out but enough that I dwell on it for a while.

This school year has been particularly difficult for me. There are a number of reasons why but I am consumed with school. The result of this has forced me to give up the things I love cooking, working out and being with my friends.

Last April, I joined a Crossfit box and fell in love. I stopped the steady stream cardio and began seeing results that I had only ever dreamed of. I also did three different Whole30s. I really found my groove with working out and eating. Then the school year began and I hit a wall. Then we bought a house and a dog....my time was spread thin.

I thought it might just be September but then before I knew it, it was Christmas and I had lost touch with the things I really loved. I wasn't cooking as much and I certainly wasn't working out as much.

In January, I was all ready to take the year on and then after Christmas break life hit again. The cold weather and snow wasn't helping. Now it is the end of February and I am in the same hole I jumped in at the beginning.

I realize it seems like I am listing my excuses and whining. I know I know....excuses are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

My point in this post is to say to myself and the blogsphere that I am not making excuses anymore. I need to do What I Can When I Can. But I also need to realize that if I don't take time to do the things I love I won't be living the best life I can.

I can't promise I am going to blog more because that is just one more thing I need to do. But I can try to use the blog for more accountability. This is my time.


I am reaching out to you to ask for help. If you can- yell, scream, encourage. Do whatever you feel you need to do to get me on the up and up. I can be the person I was this summer. I just need to find my balance again.

Cold Day Eats

Yesterday, was our third cold day of the year! So, I am enjoying a nice four day weekend. Since I had some time on my hands I was able to take pictures of my food and get stuff done around the house.

Breakfast:

I am not an egg person but I wanted to get some protein in before I ran/lifted today. Usually, when I don't like something I add sweet potatoes. EVERYTHING is better with sweet potatoes. I baked the sweet potatoes. Then in a frying pan I heated up the ham and cracked an egg on top.

My day was filled with watching Netflix and folding laundry. I had no idea what to do with myself. Before lunch, I went for a short run. John and I are planning on running the Cellcom Marathon in May. Beyonce was playing and I was SO pumped to run. Then I realized I forgot my socks.

I made it about two miles before I couldn't stand it anymore. It was an efficient 2 mile run but I was ready for it to be over.

Lunch time:

Kale chips, chicken, apple and almond butter. A simply tasty lunch. 

This is what was really going on when I was taking this picture. All the animals needed to know what I was doing. 

I did a few more things around the house and then went to Crossfit. I haven't done two a day workouts since college. I often wish I could squeeze in a run and Crossfit but I have a hard time finding the time. (I know, I know people do it all the time). 

Today's WOD was a sneaky one. It looked simple and then WHAM it smacked you in the face. That is what I love best about Crossfit, just when you are feeling confident it puts you back in your place and makes you work for it. 

Crossfit Connex WOD

Pre WOD:

3 x 3 Front Squats

3 x 3 Push Press 

WOD:

5 Rounds 

10 Thrusters   <------- They get me every time. 

15 Burpees

I got home around 7 and thanks to my handy dandy Crockpot, dinner was ready. Tonight  was Deconstructed Enchiladas. I adapted the recipe from PaleOMG. 

Deconstructed Enchiladas

2 lbs Chicken Breast

1 bag Frontera Enchilada Sauce ---> awesome paleo sauce without wheat or MSG.

1 Onion chopped

1 can Green Chilies 

2 TBS Coconut Oil 

Place all the ingredients in a crockpot on low for 6-8 hours. Shred chicken with a fork when done. 

Mix in black beans for non-paleo challenge eating husband. Top with cheese, sour cream, guacamole, sliced tomatoes and black olives. This could also be placed on a bed of Mexican rice. We used spinach and had a "build-your-own" menu since I am still participating in the Paleo challenge. 

Paleo Chocolate Chip Cookies

I made these on a whim one night while I was craving something not paleo. However, I am still participating in the Paleo Challenge and I REALLY want to win a t-shirt. (that is the prize if you don't cheat). So I googled my way through the inter webs and found this tasty recipe.

It is originally from Nikki's Coconut Butter website. Luckily for me I purchased a sampler case of Nikki's Coconut Butter, a few months back.

Paleo Chocolate Chip Cookies
Yields: 36 cookies
Ingredients:

12 eggs
4 cups Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips
3 cups Almond Flour
1 1/2 cups Nikki's Coconut Butter
1 1/2 cups Coconut Flour
1 1/2 cups Honey
3 tsp Vanilla
1 tsp Baking Soda
1 tsp Salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Scoop out coconut butter and coconut oil and heat for about a minute in a microwavable container.
Add in honey, vanilla and eggs. Mix well with a spoon or beaters.
Add in coconut flour, almond flour, baking soda and salt. Mix well. Fold chocolate chips in.

Roll dough into small balls and place onto baking sheet. Bake for about 12-15 minutes.

Inspiration

I have to say, although I haven't had the time, energy or inspiration to blog, I really am excited to start writing again. My friend Laura at Paleo Foody inspired me to blog again. We are both participating in a Paleo Challenge at our Crossfit box. She began blogging for accountability. I loved reading her blog so much I decided...hey I have a blog...I could do that again....maybe people will read it?

So, here we are.

For Christmas I got a new fancy shmancy camera. So my food pictures will be so much better than my iPhone pictures that were filtered from Instagram. I will try to capture all of my meals with my camera but my co-workers already think I am weird enough with my food, I don't think they need to see me placing my plate by the window to make sure I am getting the right light.

Meals Today:

Breakfast:
Banana & 2 Apple Chicken Sausages

Lunch:
Vitamin A Bisque
Salmon

Firstsies Snack:
Cherry Lara Bar

Secondsies:
Apple and Almond Butter

All I can say is...MORE PROTEIN! My digestion and energy don't do well without enough protein. I have started running again and my carb cravings are through the roof! I plan on stopping at the grocery store after lunch to get some easy protein snacks.

Rosie when she saw I had an apple.